The Trauma of it all....

Birth Trauma.... this saddest part about birth Trauma is the Trauma only starts with birth. The most beautiful thing that would have happened to date has been diminished to a traumatic event. That word haunts me, Trauma! Traumatic birth, Traumatic brain injury to both of the little loves of my life! How......TRAUMATIC!
Trauma: a deeply distressing or disturbing experience; emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes leads to long-term neurosis; physical injury.
I can't even articulate how bad I hurt at this moment....I
I feel angry!
I feel sad!
I feel scared!
I feel depressed!
I feel grief and sorrow!
I feel pain!
1 year ago today feels like the beginning of the end for me. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my story would be this. Jaxon and I were victimized from the beginning of our admission into the women's hospital until we requested to be transferred out. Today I want to curl up and hide. I don't have any positive words. God show up!