THE PHOENIX RISING IS NOT A MOMENT — IT’S A PROCESS OF DISMANTLING

We’ve romanticized the phoenix.

Made it something people aspire to without understanding the cost.

But the phoenix is not about rising.

It is about what life has to take apart first.

Because sometimes life doesn’t just hurt you…

It restructures you.

Not to destroy you.

But because who you were cannot carry where you’re going.

WHEN LIFE STARTS UNDOING WHAT YOU BUILT

There is a difference between something breaking…

…and something being intentionally undone.

You can feel it when it happens.

Not loud.

Not dramatic.

Just… off.

What used to excite you doesn’t anymore

What used to feel safe now feels restrictive

What used to define you now feels incomplete

And you can’t explain it.

You just know:

“This version of my life doesn’t fit me anymore.”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

Even when it feels like things are falling apart…

God is not dismantling you without direction.

There is design in the disruption.

THE LOSS THAT DOESN’T HAVE A NAME

Not all loss is death.

Some loss is:

Identity

Direction

Stability

Familiarity

You can lose a version of yourself…

…and still be expected to show up like nothing happened.

You can lose:

The career that gave you confidence

The relationship that gave you structure

The friendships that gave you comfort

And now you’re standing in the middle of your life asking:

“What do I do with this version of me?”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26

Because when everything external shifts…

You have to learn how to stand from within.

WHAT IT REALLY TAKES TO RISE (NOT THE VERSION PEOPLE POST)

Rising is not inspiration.

It is requirement.

It takes:

Endurance without applause

You keep going when nothing AND no one is clapping for you.

Letting go of who you were

Even when that version of you was loved.

Moving without full understanding

You step forward without all the answers.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” — 2 Corinthians 5:7

Accepting that growth will separate you

Not everyone can go where you’re going.

THE SHIFT — WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU’RE NOT THE SAME

There is a moment.

Quiet.

Subtle.

Undeniable.

Where you realize:

You don’t react the same

You don’t tolerate the same

You don’t desire the same

And it’s not forced.

It’s evidence.

You’re not trying to become someone new.

You already have.

“Behold, I will do a new thing…” — Isaiah 43:19

WHAT THE PHOENIX DOES AFTER IT RISES

This is where we go deeper.

Because rising is not the end.

It’s the beginning of responsibility.

After the phoenix rises…

It builds with intention

Not out of survival.

But out of alignment.

It chooses with clarity

Not out of fear.

But out of understanding.

It protects its capacity

Because it knows what it cost to rebuild.

“Above all else, guard your heart…” — Proverbs 4:23

It moves differently in every role it carries

Not just as one version of itself…

But in every space it shows up in.

HOW RISING CHANGES HOW YOU SHOW UP IN LIFE

This is where life meets truth.

Because you don’t just rise and exist.

You rise and engage differently.

As a partner

You stop trying to recreate what was.

You build what is.

To my husband, Darryl…

The version of me you knew…

was real.

But this version of me…

is refined.

Not disconnected.

Not distant.

But aware.

And now we don’t hold onto what was…

We create forward with intention.

“Behold, I make all things new.” — Revelation 21:5

As a parent

You learn how to carry both presence and pain.

You show up…

Even when life has taken pieces of you.

And that is not weakness.

That is discipline of love.

As a friend

You stop forcing connection.

You choose alignment over history.

Because not every relationship is meant to survive your growth.

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” — Amos 3:3

As a person navigating life

You stop living on autopilot.

You become:

Intentional.

Aware.

Selective.

Because now you understand:

Everything in life is either building you…

or draining you.

THE TRUTH ABOUT PURPOSE AFTER THE FIRE

Purpose is not always loud.

It doesn’t always look like a stage.

Sometimes purpose looks like:

Choosing peace when chaos is familiar

Walking away when staying would cost you

Rebuilding when you didn’t plan to

Purpose is not always what you do.

Sometimes it’s who you refuse to remain.

WHAT THE PHOENIX KNOWS THAT OTHERS DON’T

After everything…

After the dismantling…

After the confusion…

After the rebuilding…

There is a certainty that settles in:

I can survive disruption

I can rebuild from nothing

I can live without everything making sense

And most importantly:

I don’t fear starting over anymore.

THIS IS WHY THE FIRE MATTERS

The fire didn’t come to end you.

It came to introduce you to a version of yourself you hadn’t met yet.

So now…

You don’t move trying to avoid pain.

You move with the understanding:

If life shifts again…

I know how to rise.

TO THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT

If things feel like they’re being pulled apart…

If your life doesn’t fit the way it used to…

If you don’t recognize yourself fully yet…

You are not behind.

You are not lost.

You are in the middle of becoming.

And when you rise this time…

It won’t just be about survival.

It will be about living with intention, clarity, and truth.

Because now…

you know what it takes.

If you have gotten this far please stay.......The Lord really started downloading with me....

WHEN THE FIRE FEELS LIKE THE END — DISCERN WHAT YOU’RE IN

There is something we have to understand… spiritually, not just emotionally.

Because not all fire is the same.

Biblically, we know this:

There will come a time when the earth itself is consumed by fire.

So when life places you in a fire season…

it can feel final.

It can feel like everything is ending.

Like nothing will survive what you’re going through.

Like this is the moment everything falls apart for good.

But this is where discernment becomes necessary.

Because while God uses fire for refinement…

The enemy uses pressure for destruction.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” — John 10:10

And his greatest strategy?

Confusion.

He will make you believe:

What God is refining is actually killing you

What God is removing is actually harming you

What God is reshaping is actually ending you

So while you’re in the fire…

You may feel like you’re dying.

You may feel like this is the end of you.

You may feel like there is no version of you that survives this.

But hear this with clarity:

Do not confuse refinement with destruction.

Because if something in your life is meant to die…

God will allow it.

But if something in you is meant to live…

nothing — not even fire — can take it out.

So you fix your eyes.

Not on the chaos.

Not on the pain.

Not on the confusion.

But on what you know to be true:

That God is intentional.

That your life has purpose.

That nothing you’ve walked through is without meaning.

“For I know the plans I have for you…” — Jeremiah 29:11

And if He brings you out of that fire…

If you walk through something that should have taken you out…

If you come out still standing, still breathing, still moving forward…

Then you need to understand something about yourself:

You are not just surviving.

You are marked.

Marked with purpose.

Marked with assignment.

Marked with responsibility.

Because not everybody comes out of that kind of fire the same.

And if you did…

It’s because there is something on your life

that cannot be ignored.

SO NOW THE QUESTION BECOMES

After everything you’ve been through…

After the fire…

After the loss…

After the breaking…

What have you been tapped into?

What has been placed in your spirit?

What have you been called to build, to say, to become?

And more importantly:

Are you doing it?

Or are you allowing confusion…

fear…

delay…

and the enemy’s voice…

to kill, steal, and destroy

what God has already brought you through?

Because you didn’t come out of that fire for nothing.

YOU'RE COMMITTED KEEP GOING......THIS IS FOR ME AND I HOPE IT BLESSES YOU

FINAL WORD — THIS IS MY TESTIMONY IN REAL TIME

Let me say this plainly.

The fire didn’t just touch my life…

It interrupted me.

It interrupted how I loved.

How I thought.

How I showed up.

There was a real moment — not metaphorical, not exaggerated —

Where I could feel myself slipping.

Not physically…

But internally.

Like I was losing grip on who I was,

and I didn’t know how to hold on.

And that kind of loss…

is hard to explain.

Because you’re still here.

But you’re not the same.

The fire almost killed me.

Not just from grief.

Not just from loss.

But from the weight of everything changing at once.

Losing children.

Losing pieces of relationships.

Losing identity.

Losing the life I thought I understood.

And trying to stand in the middle of that

without clear direction…

without clear answers…

without a version of myself I recognized.

But something was happening

that I didn’t have language for at the time.

I didn’t disappear.

I was being reformed.

Not back into who I was…

But into someone I had never had to be before.

And I won’t dress it up.

It wasn’t graceful.

It was heavy.

It was disorienting.

It stretched me past what I thought I could carry.

But it also revealed something undeniable:

There is something in me

that fire could not take out.

There is something in me

that grief could not silence.

There is something in me

that loss could not erase.

And that something…

is God in me.

So no…

I didn’t bounce back.

I didn’t return.

I came through.

Different mind.

Different awareness.

Different weight to my presence.

And the version of me standing here today…

did not exist five months ago.

This version is:

Refined.

Intentional.

Grounded.

Built.

Not perfect.

But established.

And I understand now…

this is bigger than survival.

This is assignment.

I am a hope dealer.

Not because it sounds good.

But because I know what it feels like

to need hope and not know where to find it.

So when I speak…

I speak life.

When I write…

I write from places that tried to break me.

And as I pour into others…

I am still being poured into.

This is not just writing.

This is not just expression.

This is ministry.

And I accept that.

Fully.

Not when it’s easy.

Not when it’s convenient.

But because it’s mine to carry.

So I will go where hope is needed.

I will speak where life needs to be restored.

I will show up with tools, truth, and transparency

because I know what it feels like

to not have them.

And if you’re reading this…

and you feel like life has interrupted you…

If you feel like you don’t recognize yourself anymore…

If you feel like everything you knew has shifted…

Let me tell you something real:

You are not losing yourself.

You are being reconstructed.

And when you come through this…

You won’t come through the same.

You will come through with authority.

And this is what I stand on — not sometimes, not halfway, but fully:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

This is me.

Not who I was.

Not who I thought I would be.

But who I was built to become

ST~ THE HOPE DEALER