Humility Isn’t Weakness — It’s Grace with Backbone

I NEED TO SAY THIS JUST HOLD ON......I'M COMING BACK TO YOU..........

I NEED TO SAY THIS JUST HOLD ON......I'M COMING BACK TO YOU..........

(If you have anything positive to say about me or to me...please leave a comment...I am fighting and I need some cheers/wins right now)

This part… this part is for me.

And maybe if I’m feeling like this, maybe somebody else is too.

Maybe you need these words too.

Maybe one day I’ll need to come back and read this again myself.

Girl, get up.

SHANTRAEL....God did not design you to stay down.

There are more than ten rounds in this fight.

He already showed you the war will be won in His way… but He never said every battle would be won your way.

Shantrael, get up.

Depression will not take you.

Sadness will not take you.

Grief will not take you.

Betrayal will not destroy you.

Girl, get up.

Believe in yourself.

You don’t need everybody else to believe in you when God already assigned you the mission.

Girl, get up.

You can cry… but not forever.

You can rest… but not quit.

You can bend… but you will not break.

Girl, get up.

Yes, it’s been six months since Jaxon passed.

Yes, it’s been four years since Darren passed.

Yes, it’s been almost 3 years since Mr. John passed.

Yes, it’s been 9 months since your brother Denzel passed.

Yes, it feels like your world has been upside down for over a decade.

But you survived all of that.

Girl, get up.

Yes, you’ve loss careers due to staying true to family first.

Yes, your career shifted because you stood in the gap for your family.

Yes, you sacrificed pieces of yourself to keep everybody else breathing.

And still… God provided beyond what you could’ve imagined.

Girl, get up.

Shantrael...

You have two businesses.

You just released a NEW book.

You are building while grieving.

You are surviving while shattered.

You are loving while hurting.

And you really sitting here thinking you’re doing nothing?

Girl, get up.

Be proud of yourself.

And know this:

Just because you can’t hear God right now doesn’t mean He left.

Just because you can’t feel Him this week doesn’t mean He isn’t holding you together.

Girl, get up.

Just because you feel alone does not mean you are alone.

Move.

Breathe.

Pray.

Cry if you need to.

But move.

You still have work to do.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

And honestly? I don’t think that scripture meant one literal night.

Some nights last months.

Some nights last years.

But joy still comes.

I know it does because I’ve seen it before.

I’ve felt it before.

Even after devastation, joy found me again.

Everything that could’ve been sent to destroy you has already tried.

And yet…

SHANTRAEL, get up.

You are still breathing.

Still fighting.

Still standing.

Show hell.

Show Satan.

Show your children.

Show yourself…

How much power, grace, humility, strength, resilience, and faith God placed inside of you.

Shantrael…

Get up.

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Now,

Everybody talks about humility like it means shrinking. Like it means staying quiet. Like it means letting people mishandle you while you smile and say, “God knows my heart.”

But real humility? Real humility is much deeper than that.

Humility is having the ability to be honest without becoming cruel. It’s giving grace while still acknowledging pain. It’s apologizing when you’re wrong without losing your dignity. It’s staying teachable even after life has broken you in places nobody can see.

And if I’m honest? Humility has humbled me in ways I never saw coming.

Because grief will humble you. Motherhood will humble you. Loss will humble you. Leadership will humble you. Loving people deeply will humble you.

There are moments in life where you realize you don’t have all the answers. Moments where your heart is exhausted from trying to carry everyone else while quietly bleeding yourself. Moments where you realize you need grace too.

Not just the grace you give everybody else. The grace you deny yourself.

That’s the hard part.

Some of us have become professionals at extending understanding to everyone around us while internally destroying ourselves for every mistake, every delay, every moment we didn’t “hold it together.”

But humility also says: “Maybe I’m human too.”

Maybe I’m allowed to be healing and holy at the same time. Maybe I’m allowed to be strong and struggling. Maybe I’m allowed to tell the truth about what hurt me without becoming bitter. Maybe I can hold people accountable and still pray for them. Maybe grace and honesty can sit at the same table.

Because one thing life is teaching me: You can be kind and still have boundaries. You can forgive and still remember what something cost you. You can love deeply and still choose yourself. You can extend grace without allowing continued disrespect.

That’s maturity. That’s growth. That’s humility with wisdom attached to it.

And honestly? The older I get, the less impressed I am by pride disguised as strength.

Some people refuse to apologize because they think accountability makes them weak. Some people weaponize silence. Some people would rather protect their ego than protect relationships. Some people want grace while refusing to give any.

But humility teaches you how to pause. How to reflect. How to say: “I may not have intended harm, but I understand impact.” “I’m still learning.” “I don’t know everything.” “I need God too.”

That kind of honesty changes people.

Not performative humility. Not social media humility. Not fake deep captions with no real transformation behind them.

I mean the kind of humility that happens in private. The kind where God sits you down and shows you both your wounds and your ways. The kind where you stop pointing fingers long enough to examine your own heart too.

Because truthfully? Sometimes we were hurt. And sometimes we hurt others while hurting.

Both can be true.

That’s why grace matters.

Not the watered-down version of grace that excuses everything. But the kind of grace that leaves room for growth. The kind that says: “I see your humanity, even while I protect my peace.”

Whew.

That takes work. That takes healing. That takes God.

And maybe that’s what this season is teaching me: Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking honestly about yourself. It’s understanding that none of us are above correction, growth, or extending compassion.

Life has a way of bringing all of us to our knees eventually. Titles don’t stop heartbreak. Money doesn’t stop grief. Success doesn’t stop loneliness. And pride? Pride will have you drowning while pretending you can swim.

But humility… Humility will save relationships. Humility will soften hardened places. Humility will remind you that being human is not failure.

So this week, I’m choosing honesty. I’m choosing grace. I’m choosing softer words where I can. I’m choosing accountability where I need to. I’m choosing to stop carrying the weight of perfection.

And I pray we all learn how to be gentler with one another.

Because everybody is carrying something. Mentally. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. Financially.

Everybody.

And sometimes the strongest thing a person can do is simply admit: “I’m trying.”

For the One Walking This Too...

If you’ve been trying to hold everything together while quietly falling apart… If you’ve been extending grace to everybody but yourself… If pride, pain, disappointment, or exhaustion has made your heart harder than you intended…

May you find the courage to soften again.

Not for foolishness. Not for disrespect. Not for repeated harm.

But for healing.

May you remember that humility is not weakness. It is strength disciplined by wisdom. It is love disciplined by boundaries. It is honesty wrapped in grace.

And may God continue to mold us into people who are both truthful and tender.

ST~Hope Dealer.....Dealing this week to myself